


the wheels go round and round

by dirtychai



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bit of Fluff, Canonical Character Death, Other, Tumblr Prompt, but lots of love, families are what you make them, ghosts of lovers oh my, idk what to do in tags, sprinkle of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 14:44:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17869220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtychai/pseuds/dirtychai
Summary: the three of you were like a three-wheeled bikebut then you lost a wheelits a good thing most cycles can run on two wheels …right?





	the wheels go round and round

**Author's Note:**

> bless the day to umbrella academy. after months of drought, it rained down 5k+ words on my soul.
> 
> tumblr prompt that i wanted to share.
> 
> i always feel like i can add more, but let me know what you think.

It was more than just an _itch_. 

When describing the sensation of feeling the departed, Klaus had always summarized the connection to an _**itch**_. 

But it was more than that. 

It was a _whisper_ at times and a **shout** at its worst. 

It was both the _burn_ of a cigarette and the sharp **punch** of frost. 

Klaus no longer just enjoyed life because since the day he was born, he’d been destined to share it. Whether it be someone’s brother, mother or aunt. 

He couldn’t simply exist without the obligation of presenting himself as a window to those who have departed. They were tethered to him, mere specters unable to indulge in their own whims. 

But more often than not, Klaus felt like the collar was around _his_ own neck. The hallucinations tightening around his throat like a noose. 

It was _suffocating_. 

Until the few times it wasn’t. 

The moments where Ben was on one side,

and you were on the other. 

  


* * *

“ _Please_ … Klaus. Not tonight.”  


Had he had the energy, Klaus would have rejoiced. In the sea of hell, submerged in a pool of souls, hearing his dear brother’s voice was like breaking the surface. 

Regrettably, at times he’d been too deep to begin with. The rapid ascend cracking his chest with aches and muddling the shores of his mind. 

Or perhaps it was just the cocaine. 

‘Twas all a blur at this age. 

Except for his brother. 

Klaus had been convinced that his brother’s multiple appendages had followed him into the next life, where they finally joined into one.

One string enough to define the parameters of life and death. 

One potent enough where Klaus could almost feel the warmth of his finger tips. 

_No_ , this was definitely the cocaine speaking. 

Shuddering past the residue, eyes fixated forward despite the obvious request for his attention. He learned long ago that it was much easier to escape the allure of desires that were not his own this way. 

Of course, the notion worked better with strangers. 

“And what exactly did I promise, dear brother?”

He knew. 

Ben only sought him out for two things: loneliness and you. 

And the two were often more intertwined than independent. 

The phantom steps weren’t quite as soundless when the familiar gait in his memory coupled with reality. With his head bowed, Klaus only allowed himself the view of the restless sneakers planted in front of him. 

He would account for deniability for just a little longer. Just until the fog lifted. 

Yes, there was _one_ plus to his powers. 

No matter how much his brother wanted to launch him into kingdom come with the flick of his very murderous friends, there was just no true density to his physical wants. 

“Klaus were going to be late. The recital starts in less twenty minutes. “

And in the other side of town, Klaus recalled groggily of the event he wasn’t suppose to remember. Not only would he be pushing the limits of his rather shallow physicality, but he would also suffer to the sharp keys struck in cohesion to whatever dated classical piece chosen for the night. 

He could still hear the thundering notes of the last one echoing off the sides of his skull. 

The agony of the preservation of music.

“Klaus!”

“Fuck!” Scrambling to his feet, the disheveled man shakily reached for the wall for balance. A few of his trivial belongings clattered to the street below. At least they were disposable now, there was no way he’d be able to make the trip back down again. 

Beyond the determination, there was a hint of sympathy in Ben’s gaze. Despite being forever frozen in time by passing, Klaus felt like he was still growing despite the absence of aging. That and Klaus always had a soft spot for his sixth placed sibling.

Well, shit, there went his small window of deniability. 

Smoothing his hands down the tattered and grimy black of his clothing, Klaus snuffed audibly as he looked down the alleyway. 

“Well let’s get going then.”

____

_“Fucking cmon, man.”_

_Klaus let out a quiet groan of disgruntlement when he peered around the corner once more. Much like like last three times, funding his brother just as ensnared with his significant other._

_Despite his warnings, neither of the couple had kept things chaste. He’s managed to get more than an eyeful of Ben’s wandering hands and exposed skin._

_Keeping a timer was a futile attempt._

_They were too young to die._

_Practically skinned alive by their father for sneaking out again._

_Getting caught for it again._

_All for love._

_Teenage **reckless** love. _

_Counting upward, skipping a few useless numbers along the way, Klaus finally decided on a limit and turned back to the pair with a stronger resolve._

_“As distastefully envious I am of your abrupt jump from bases so quickly, I’m afraid you’ll deny me the opportunity to try the same in the future if we don’t get going,” he emphasized with a pointed look at anything but the two flushed individuals._

_Ben let out an equality frustrated huff and you laughed in turn._

_And Klaus…,_

_Poor Klaus was just ready to end it all._

_Ben drew you in close once more for a quick snog, one teetering close to another endless makeout fest without his brother’s grunt._

_“Alright, alright. I’ll se you tomorrow, after your classes?”_

_Your face scrunched in thought, before clearing with recollection and you shook your head,” I have practice tomorrow evening.”_

_Ben’s bottom lip pulled downward at the thought, but you quickly remedied it with a peck on the cheek and a suggestion._

_“But maybe, we can meet at night? At the cafe?”_

_The question was directed more towards the lingering Klaus, who rolled his eyes._

_The gesture met by silence._

_Seconds ticking into minutes, until he couldn’t take it any longer._

_He threw up his arms in exasperation._

_“Fine, you little miscreants. I swear if you two drag me through a teenage pregnancy. I will kill you both and drag your souls into my bedroom to view true horrors of entangled lovers.”_

_

_“Ugh, I don’t know.”_

_Rubbing sleepily under the droop of his eyes, Klaus was willing to bet anything as long as it got him back in bed before noon. If someone told him something like friendship was such a binding contract, he would have gladly done without it._

_The remaining option of pure solitude and his family be damned._

_Anything less would have had him in bed still._

_“Look, Ben will love anything you get him. He’s easy like that,” he quipped around a yawn._

_What he didn’t mention was how frankly any of them would take a grain of salt if it came as a gift on their names-day._

_Who knew being born without an identity would come without the rest of the joys in the world. But with everything else denied, what was one more traumatized shard of a misplaced childhood._

_When he finally returned to reality, he found you standing just under him, your nose barely bringing the line of his shoulder. You were watching intently, in a way that could only be described as expectation._

_Ah, you’d said something else hadn’t you?_

_God, he was just making this much longer for himself._

_What did Ben even like?_

_Surely under all the endless screaming and turmoil Klaus had been present enough to at least learn something impertinent about his brother._

_All of his siblings mumble of wants._

_A proper **life**._

_A **real** family._

_**Friends**._

_Bringing together all two of his lingering brain cells, he squared his shoulders with a posture of authority. “A music book.”_

_To his suggestion, your nose twisted into a look of pure disbelief._

_Oh, you unfortunate clueless little doll. If only he had the time to introduce you to the chaotic world his brother had created to express his undying love for you._

_“A music book, because he likes to understand you. You and that complicated, beautifully musically-inclined brain that he’s so obsessed with. Poor boy is tone deaf, but if he can keep up with you literately, then he’s a happy monkey.”_

_His lips pulled at the joke that went over your head with no reminiscence._

_All that mattered was that his brother would be happy._

_You would be sated._

_And he could get his ass **back** to sleep._

* * *

_Klaus felt like something worse than a train had plowed into him. Which was ironic, because he couldn’t think of much else that would leave his body wriggling in agony._

_Just the effort needed to part his eyelids felt like shouldering the weight of cinderblocks. The trials of it all would have been much more terrifying had it only been the first occurrence._

_Fortunately, or supposedly unfortunately given his state of health, this was far from the first time that he’d found himself plastered to his brother’s couch. His impromptu visits were really beginning to affect the integrity of the upholstery, he mused as he picked lethargically at the dried flakes of his own spittle._

_Not even on his best day could Klaus recall exactly where they’d drug him from this time. He tended to only bare the scorches of hell not the memories of it._

_A low rumble of thunder tickled at his consciousness, and his body managed to comprehend the action to find the available window perched just east of his grungy nest._

_To find only instant regret as the bright rays began the thrall if his punishment._

_No storm then._

_Then what was- oh._

_“The parents are arguing,” He sang alone and off tune to the accompaniment of two voices just beyond his reach. Despite its size, their cute little kitchen managed manifest acoustics only found in the hazy mists if his shower._

_“He needs to go to rehab, Ben! This is getting ridiculous.”_

_“Rehab isn’t going to cure the voices. “_

_Understanding the horrors behind why Klaus was such a dysfunctional mess had done nothing to deter your efforts to provide him with solace._

_More often than not he found himself drug to recitals and practice performances where you felt the noise would help to overcome the screams._

_It may have been a nicer sentiment should he have control of the playlist if songs. He was more likely to fall asleep and face his maker than find peace._

_Indirectly, he found himself observing Vanya on more than one occasion, however, a Samaritan token that he hoped he could cash in at some point in the future_

_“So were suppose to just let him keep doing this to him self. “_

_Oh bless your soul._

_Klaus shoulders rolled in a crooked dance as his hand touched the three places out of order to a religion he had no experience dabbling in._

_May the big guy or **women** upstairs truly gift you for your heart. _

_“Baby, it’s not that easy…”_

_Well, gift you more than they had when they wrapped Ben up and presented him to you._

_Klaus wondered if you recognized the veteran you were when it came to keeping the real monsters at bay._

* * *

_“You think when this is all over … think I could **marry** her?”_

_The question was asked so causally that Klaus nearly inhaled the paper roll balanced between his lips. Ben, this little rascal, hardly missed a second as he reached over to take a puff for himself._

_A slow dazed smile curled at his lips, his mind floating up and away in chase of the cloud._

_All the while, Klaus nearly died from an abrupt pneumonectomy._

_“Sorry, I’d like to dissect this first. When **what’s** over? Sorry to break it to you, but those powers aren’t going anywhere.”_

_That was a long dead dream amongst all the siblings. This was their life and they just had to adapt to make the best of it._

_Funny, he couldn’t remember if he’d heard that from mom or dad._

_Frankly, their mother was an autonomous robot programmed by their father, so he supposed they were one in the same._

_He shudders at the visage._

_Ben took another long drag before handing the joint back, letting the smoke settle in him before releasing it out into the world. He was becoming such a professional, Klaus almost wanted to cry._

_Rolling his head back, Ben caught his brother’s gaze, the same languid grin still plastered on his lips,” I mean the old man has got to die at some point right? Then we’d be free.”_

_Except the old geezer just couldn’t seem to find the bucket to kick. Klaus had to wonder if he was even born with one._

_Maybe that’s why he took everything from them, because he lost his bucket. Since he had to suffered it was only right that he did._

_Scoffing, Klaus fell back into the cushions of the couch. Their father dying would just be one nightmare for another to him. While his other siblings lived their life, he’d be the unlikely bastard still hearing dead old dad._

_He waved his brother to continue,” So dad dies. He has no more control. Enter your bride to be. What could go wrong ?”_

_“They could say no.”_

_The taste of rejection was familiar and thick, a viscous emotion that was contagious in all the worst ways. It was an airborne virus, a bacterial infection- a stigma embedded into the very walls they grew up in._

_They’d spent their whole lives being discarded from the inside. How would they handle the same on the outside?_

_Well Klaus certainly didn’t think that Ben deserved that._

_“You’re an idiot. Of course they would say yes.”_

_And when that lazy smile brightening with the energy of the sun, Klaus thinks, yeah it’ll be alright._

___

Except it’s not. 

It’s the **opposite** of okay. 

___

_“Did you know he wanted to marry me?”_

_Klaus looks up in surprise, though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he shouldn’t. You were equally as expressive as you were aware. To be honest, you had to be to keep up with them._

_Just because they were a danger, didn’t mean they weren’t inherently surrounded by it as well._

_As fate brought about._

_Ben always made sure to keep you on your toes. Scolding you when your back was turned to the happenings of the world. It was done out of love, to protect you from what you couldn’t see._

_Your defense when he wasn’t there._

_So of course you’d been primed to pick up on little mannerisms and peculiarities. Lately, when the two of you were alone, wrapped up in your lovers nest, Ben often lost himself to his own thoughts._

_But naturally that wasn’t enough to support the little investigation._

_No, you needed evidence._

_The little box hidden behind the bookshelf was more than enough to close the case._

_You still had it._

_Unsure of what to do with it now. It didn’t seem like a family heirloom, but what did you know ?_

_The touch of your own hand stroked fondly over the fingers of your left, a quirk of a sullen smile twitching halfheartedly._

_“Yeah, I knew. It was so easy to tell with him.”_

_Ben’s manifestation came as easy as a whisper yet felt like the heavy side of an iron hammer. He hovered between the two of them, uncertainty rooting his presence just short of reaching you._

_His face twisted at the sight of your solemn agony as you picked apart the memories of your life together._

_“Every recital I kept wonder if that was going to be the day. “_

_Klaus could only watch it play out, no plausible intervention available in his capacity to offer comfort. The wound was still so fresh and deep with all of them. The two of you together were just barely managing to keep the gape from tearing wider._

_“Then I realized, that wouldn’t be his style. He’d probably try to stick it in a milkshake then freak out when I went for a spoon.”_

_Ben’s broken laugh cracks his chest, rattling like a case of skeletons. Klaus is glad you can’t hear it, the torment of its sound would only plague his nightmares._

_“I would have said yes without a ring.”_

_When Ben reaches for her, Klaus can’t help but do the same. The urge feels like his own, physically, but when his brother lays his hand atop the pile the warmth doesn’t feel like it’s coming from his own body. At the touch, it sparks an array of emotions he’d only once viewed through a one way mirror._

_Now he was the window._

_Too bad it was already broken._

_“I would have said yes to anything.”_

____

“Every time. I know you say you’ll see me again, but damn, you really surprise me, Klaus.”

When Klaus draws you in for a hug, its more than instinctual. Its not an ambient desire. 

Its a whim of his own, something that he takes his own personal comfort in.

His.

So maybe he’s a little disgruntled, when a third pair of arms joins the embrace.

And maybe, he’s a little smug when you only respond to his warmth, and his alone.

Call it his own payment.

Grinning, you brush away the damp fringe from your flushed cheek. You always called performing a rush. He thought living with Vanya would help him understand that, but it seemed that music lover’s were truly just one of a kind.

“Tell her how amazing she sounded.”

Ben encroaches on the moment again, and Klaus grits his teeth to bare the grin as he recites the words. Sometimes he wonders if he you can hear his voice as well as he can. The two of you always had such a special connection. 

It was a shame that death had to be the one thing that built a wall between you. 

With a sigh that could double as exhaustion, you leaned back on your heels. The adrenaline of the recital was finally wearing off. All the long nights and endless dance of fingers across the keys had waned down to this moment, and now it was over. 

For now at least. 

Give or take a few weeks, just short of a month or two and you would be back at it again.

“So … you look … good?” You winced at the delivery but prided yourself on how it didn’t come out sounding like an interrogation. It was so difficult to properly voice your worries when it came to Klaus. 

So much had changed over the years. 

You thought you would be able to function without the third wheel. 

Most bikes ran on just two after all.

But Klaus seemed to need that third wheel in a capacity that you just couldn’t understand. Frankly, there were a lot of things you didn’t quite comprehend and you had practically dated a superhero. 

But with Ben it had been not easy but simpler in all the ways that came natural as being together.

Klaus was the opposite in more ways than one. 

Yet so explicitly streamlined down the single reason that he wasn’t alone.

He was never really alone.

No matter how often you tried to fill the space with your presence, some skeleton from the past managed to draw him away. 

You think thats the one thing you hated most about the house he grew up in. Despite all those people, it had been voided from so much love that it got to the point that he’d let anything in.

And now he didn’t know how to close the door.

He was getting so weathered just standing at the entrance, taking whatever was thrown at him.

Klaus managed his usual exaggerated grin, and you made no comment of how it drooped a the side. “Oh, but thank you my dear. Truly, here I thought no one would noticed how I walked straight off the runway to make it here on time.”

Laughing came easy, even when it was forced. 

“Well, I appreciate it. I really do, Klaus. Everytime.”

Klaus lifts his shoulders and let him fall in his own quirky way,“It’s what he would have wanted.”

“ _Still wants._ ” Ben’s words drift like a breeze.

You reach for his hand, meaning every word as they cross your lips,“Yeah, well, he had a great brother.”

There was no denying that your friendship had fractured from being on the receiving end of the blow that was Ben’s death. Things weren’t quite as they were, lacking the instrumental piece that his ghost couldn’t be to bridge your worlds. 

But it wasn’t broken. 

Ben wouldn’t allow it. He kept Klaus alive, pushing him to remain conscious and aware of the world. Even if his brother’s motivations were selfish demonstrations of his own agendas. 

At the end of the day, Klaus retained your friendship. 

And in a world of apparitions, it was nice to reach for something and have it met half way. 

“Yes, thank you. I’m glad he can hear that and my efforts are for naught.”

Ben flittered between the two of you, instinctively drawn into your orbit. Klaus tried not encroach, but unable to not watch as Ben tried in vain to grasp the wisps of your hair. The intentions phased through you without your notice yet Ben’s look of complacence didn’t falter in the slightest.

It’s what he wanted for you after all. 

Your blissful unawareness would be necessary for you to properly prefers in a world without him. 

Even when he was still there to watch your steps forward. 

“ _We should treat her to her favorite cafe._ ”

Ben was back at his side, flickering in and out of space with ease. The question snapped Klaus out of his revere and he found himself answering audibly in reflex,“Oh yes, with my _limited_ funds.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion,

“Sorry?”

Klaus waved you off, not having to explain in detail for once or come up with an exuberant tale to mask his insanity. “Oh, not you.”

Your eyes flashed with recognition. Apart as you were, you weren’t as accustomed to Klaus day to day demons. The man who was once a constant in your life managed to fade to the background without your say so. You knew he was doing it out of his own attempts to shield you. 

With Ben, you were a proper team, one that could at least attempt to maintain the forlorn sibling. But alone, it felt like you were a mere spectator.

“Is it getting worse? I mean its, always worse right?”

“Not… always,” he trailed off. 

“Klaus you cant keep drowning them away the way you are. Its not healthy.”

This really wasn’t how he planned for this evening to go. But you were a lecturer at heart and consequently he was your favorite subject. He had resist the urge to make a face when Ben hummed in agreement. “I know that.”

He looked up at the touch of your hand, trying hard not get to far swept into your altruistic stigma. Without Ben around, he’d managed to do a better job of dragging you into his mess rather than allow you to pull him out.

You were just too helpful.

Always loaning money or your couch to rest on.  


Just attending your performances hardly felt like a redemption to all your kindness. Ben certainly felt that way. In Klaus defense, he never lead a very virtuous life to begin with. Besides, wasn’t the point of all this for you to live your own life?

Ben had died, leaving you two to reform a friendship in his absence. Sure, it was the squeakiest wheel but it turned. 

You had just as strong of a hand in keeping him afloat.

“Then act like you mean it. I know its not fair for me to simplify something so difficult, but you just have to cut them out.”

Klaus wondered if he’d imagined the hitch in your voice or if Ben had noticed it as well. Your gaze had lowered as you delivered into your speech, hiding away the true emotions festering beneath. Klaus didn’t know what he would do if the sniffling began. He was oh so terrible when it came to managing emotions that were not his own. 

Who was he kidding, he hardly had a reign on those.

But you continued on. Your stance growing sterner with every word. 

“Let the past go.”

“Forget about them.”

“Move on.”

They were the same words regurgitated from Ben’s own request to see that you moved on properly after his death. He hadn’t wanted you to remain stuck on his ghost, remembering what had been and constantly reimagining what could be. 

More importantly, he wanted you to let go of him completely, so that you wouldn’t seek him out in Klaus. 

Klaus always found it odd how you never showed any addition resistance to Ben’s ‘dying’ request. Not that he expected you to declare vengeance. But you _knew_ , he was a walking window to the world of the dead. Knew that if he tried enough, he could manifest Ben back to you. But you never asked.

You just smiled and nodded. 

Ben pretended to be unaffected, tried to convince himself that it was what he wanted. But Klaus knew he was hurting from the lack of contact. Yearning to use the advantage only his brother could provide. 

_Wanting_.

**_Needing_**.

It just wasn’t fair.

“Even Ben?”

Ben was in front of him immediately, his face hardened in the event of Klaus breaching their deal. But Klaus was done with the suffering, tired of making everyone around him feel it too.

At one point in their lives, they were all happy. 

And it was time to stop acting like Ben’s absence was the end of it all. 

“Ben…”

Klaus expected more tears. Something of a sort of production of dramatics that would call attention to your private moment. He certainly had the theatrics in him to do so. But you were just … quiet. As if hearing Ben’s name aloud had stripped the sound from your voice.

Ben looked at him with chagrin, mouth already moving to berate Klaus’ impulsive decision,” _Look what you did- all our progress_.”

“I didn’t want to! I just-”

“Ben, its fine.”

The silence that followed was deafening. It took them both a moment more to realize which of the pair you’d called out to. And with such confidence. You’d just included yourself in the conversation as if you’d been there from the start. 

As if you’d-

“ _You knew…_ ”

Klaus somehow managed to add more foundation to Ben’s fractured words. The weight of the realization suddenly splintering the mirage you’d all built together to keep the world spinning. You’d all contributed to the great tragedy in which no one was truly happy.

“That you could see him?” Your shrug was lopsided. The weight uneven as you offloaded your own demons. “Klaus, you can see everyone. Of course, I figured you would seek out your own brother.” You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Like there were idiots for thinking otherwise. 

In a way they were. 

“But you never-”

” -said anything?” You interrupted with another sluggish shrug,” Ben made it pretty clear that he didn’t want me to know. The least i could do was respect those wishes.”

You’d do anything for Ben. 

Even forget.

Or pretend to, at least.

What would you be, if you couldn’t meet his last request.

Frankly, it was all too much for Klaus, his body shaking with misplaced laughter as the situation settled within him. You truly knew them- knew them both better than they knew themselves. They’d presented a game and got played by it. 

Ben was fairing slightly better, daring to even smile a little in muted pride. Klaus finds himself thrown back in time, the same feeling of trespassing establishing within him when Ben reaches out with a phantom hand to stroke your cheek. 

Swallowing around the barrier, Klaus narrates helpfully,” He’s uh- stroking your cheek. Or trying to at least.”

For some reason you all laugh, your accompanied by bringing your own hand up to touch the side of your face. You’d managed to find the right cheek without either of their guidance. Not that anyone was surprised anymore. 

“ _I’ve missed you_.”

Oh how Klaus wished you could hear Ben. Something you could all agree on. But he played his part, being the voice needed to maintain the connection,” “He misses you.”

When you open your eyes, your gaze is more watery than it had been before,” Yeah, I’ve missed you too.” 

Klaus is caught off guard when your hand extends out, fingers flexing. At first he thinks you’d dared to try to reach for Ben, hopeful for a missing touch. But instead he finds your gaze trained on him, your touch as warm as he remembers.

“I knew I could rely on him to keep you alive. “

Ben chuckles fondly,” _Damn right_.”

You sigh audibly through your nose, giving Klaus one last squeeze before letting go. “Honestly, this is great. I felt so weird trying to pretend like he wasn’t there. Seriously, you two share one brain cell. As long as you’re functioning, it was safe to assume Ben wasn’t far.”

The jib was popular joke of yours when Ben was still alive. The two brothers were a mix of mischief that you rarely managed to keep up with. Together they were a duo, but the three of you were more than a trio.

A unit that sheltered each other from the harshness of reality. 

“I’ll take you up on those parfaits now. Maybe a hot chocolate with a shot. I know you’ve got something on you.“

Klaus was going to end up with whiplash by the end of the night with the way this conversation was going. You departed from them with a promise to return as quickly as you could change, leaving the two siblings floundering in place.

“I know I said this before, but your fiancé is strange.”

The way Ben smiles reminds Klaus of the day he decided that he was in love with you.

Ben didn’t even try to correct him. 

“Yeah, but we like them that way.”


End file.
